May your days be merry and bright… December 23, 2010

Yesterday I started to write a funny ditty about the commotion that comes with the holiday season, but after doing a snack run with the kids at a local mall, the experience left me pondering the hilarity of such Christmas chaos.

In the hour that we were there we observed at least a half a dozen crying kids, and almost as many screaming mothers. We witnessed a toddler racing around the store ramming the carts of several strangers with no parent in sight. We watched a man carry a little one out by the seat of his pants, as the hysterical kid cried for “just one little treat”.

As a horrid finale we walked towards the van and heard a young woman screaming profanities to her boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend based on the ruckus), before she jumped out of the car, slammed the door and stormed off. For his part, the young male driver wheeled around and got out of that parking lot faster than you can say “Love Stinks, yeah yeah”.

Needless to say, the bad vibe left all of us feeling disheartened on the day before, the day before the day before Christmas.

Can I just ask – where is the holiday cheer? Where is the fah who for-aze, dah who dor-aze style of jubilation? I wonder if my 93-year old grandmother would have the same memories of getting ready for Christmas with her kids back in the day?

Is the commercialism and obligation to buy the biggest gift, have the best dinner, chop down the tallest tree and light up the house like the Griswold’s the culprit in losing the true spirit of Christmas?

I can tell you nobody was having a holly jolly Christmas in that mall yesterday, and I have to wonder -have we bought ourselves a sack full of trouble getting away from a simple family gathering just exchanging hand-crafted gifts and an simple orange in a stocking?

Hold your kids a little closer, take comfort in having a hand to hold, and feel blessed that you have family or friends to spend time with over the holidays. Happy Holidays Everyone…and try not to scream at your kids, throw a tantrum for a treat, or break the heart of someone you love.

The Twelve Days of Christmas…with Children December 21, 2010

* On the first day of Christmas my children gave to me: a steaming cup de-stress green tea.

* On the second day of Christmas my children gave to me: two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

* On the third day of Christmas my children gave to me: three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

* On the fourth day of Christmas my children gave to me: four fists a-flying; three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

* On the fifth day of Christmas my children gave to me: five… big meltdowns; four fists a-flying; three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

* On the sixth day of Christmas my children gave to me: six eyes a-rolling; five… big meltdowns; four fists a-flying; three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

* On the seventh day of Christmas my children gave to me: seven lippy comebacks; six eyes a-rolling; five… big meltdowns; four fists a-flying; three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

* On the eighth day of Christmas my children gave to me: eight tongues a-wagging; seven lippy comebacks; six eyes a-rolling; five big meltdowns; four fists a-flying; three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

* On the ninth day of Christmas my children gave to me: nine pals with play dates; eight tongues a-wagging; seven lippy comebacks; six eyes a-rolling; five… big meltdowns; four fists a-flying; three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

* On the tenth day of Christmas my children gave to me: ten “gimme-gimmes”; nine pals with play dates; eight tongues a-wagging; seven lippy comebacks; six eyes a-rolling; five… big meltdowns; four fists a-flying; three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea..

* On the eleventh day of Christmas my children gave to me: eleven rooms a-messing; ten “gimme-gimmes”; nine pals with play dates; eight tongues a-wagging; seven lippy comebacks; six eyes a-rolling; five…big meltdowns; four fists a-flying; three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

* On the twelfth day of Christmas my children gave to me: twelve siblings screaming; eleven rooms a-messing; ten “gimme-gimmes”; nine pals with play dates; eight tongues a-wagging; seven lippy comebacks; six eyes a-rolling; five… big meltdowns; four fists a-flying; three “Mom! She’s bugging”; two bold face lies; and a steaming cup of de-stress green tea.

Procrastinators Unite Tomorrow! December 16, 2010

I have no valid reason that my novel, Debris, is sitting on the shelf waiting for me to finish updating my final edits. Marked all up in red, and being satisfied with lucky draft number thirteen, it should be a no-brainer to make the revisions to my manuscript. Except I haven’t, and I’m not.

I can come up with great excuses – kids mauling me on snow days, working on my new novel (Life as a Teenage Mutant), getting my website up and running for 2011, getting a query ready for magazine pieces, and editing other writers’ work. And although those are valid tasks that keep me busy, and even make me money, (hallelujah!) they all lend a graceful hand to my procrastinating nature.

I have to tell you – editing your work, and by that I mean editing and re-editing and re-editing, is incredibly difficult. Actually, more tedious than difficult, but either way, it was a harder process for me than actually writing the novel. I can see how much cleaner the writing is, the story is tighter, and the edits have made the novel itself so much better. But the task of revising my work over and over was exhausting, and quite honestly I need a break from my wonderfully messed up and carefully crafted world of Debris.

I did have time this morning to work on it, but instead decided to craft you this very special holiday wish. Maybe I should change careers – I may suit maracas more than the keyboard…

Trapped here in a winter wonderland… December 14, 2010

Snow day number three. Buses were cancelled this morning which meant the kids stayed home.

Again.

Last week we had two snow days. Although it was nice not having to pack lunches or backpacks, and it was endearing to hear the kids gleeful cheer at the news of no school, I’m sort of done now.

Now that we’ve gone north and rural, we get the kind of days that take your breath away and make your teeth ache. The last week has included days that leave you house-bound because the roads haven’t been ploughed. Even once they’re cleared, I have my 400-foot driveway to content with, so snow days usually mean pyjama days. Which was great on snow day number one. It was even pleasant on snow day number two, but after the third day, we have reached our limit. Or at least I have.

My house gets messier on snow days. I end up cooking more, refereeing endless arguments, and playing non-stop games. This family of gentiles has spent most of today playing dreidel games.

When my daughter brought the hand-made cardboard dreidel home, the instructions clearly stated candy, nuts or raisins were to go into the pot. But after our third game and the impending sugar surge with the winning round kidlets, we changed the stakes. Our game has turned into dreidel-for-cash, and my youngest has cleaned me out of all my spare change.

On days like today I don’t have a minute to myself, which means I can’t think, which means I don’t write.
The interesting thing about the writing restraint is that I didn’t spend time writing yesterday when I was on my own either, but today I feel utterly compelled to get my hands on the keyboard. More than a little ironic, but I’ll just blame it on the snow and the kids. Really, I think it’s a weird combination of writer’s block and shameful procrastination.

Either way, it was a stretch to even get my blog updated, but I did it. After all, I owed at least that to my wonderful readers since my internet is up and running again.

Another rural tendency – lack of internet – satellite sucks when it’s reaching through acres of trees. But that folks… is another rant.