Boundbytheword Blog

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Get your guano here… August 25, 2010

Filed under: What's Up? — Noelle Bickle / Abby Brooks @ 3:24 PM

Our home is idyllic. Six acres of land, lots of gardens and trees of every kind. My favourite by far are my three willows, but we have plenty of poplar and pine, ash and sumac, cherry, apple, and even a massive old oak. Of course I can’t deny that my rows of maple provided a wonderful harvest of syrup last year, so they hold a special place on my list as well. We’re surrounded by farmland, so our morning rush hour noises include songbirds, the bellow of waking cows, and the odd tractor in the distance. It’s peaceful and serene, this little piece of heaven I call home. Night time is just as tranquil. We can see every star in the dark sky, and listen as the crickets chirp. You’d think being surrounded by trees, we’d get eaten alive by mosquitoes, but not so. In fact we have very few at all. It’s odd, considering we live in such a rural area. Are mosquitoes more of a city or subdivision pest? It makes no sense at all.

Ahhh, but it does. We have no mosquitoes because we have bats. Essentially rats with wings. Which wouldn’t be such a big deal because they’re outside, and hey -thanks to them we have no mosquitoes. Apparently one bat can eat 3000 bugs a night! But here’s the thing. They’re roosting behind our shutters, which means they poop on our window sill before they head to bed for the day. That’s no good.

What I want is no bugs. What I don’t want is piles of what looks like mouse droppings outside my bedroom windows. It’s called guano, and it is grosso. It’s also toxic and can make you sick, give you flu like symptoms. That guano’s gotta go.

We had the pest guy here today. Can I just digress and state that you know you live in the country when you have a regular pest guy who comes in for coffee during his job? We had a great talk today about the bears in the area, so I felt petty complaining about guano. But I’m just not okay with piles of bat crap invading my piece of heaven.

Larry, the pest guy tells us we’ve got big brown bats. The good news is big browns only grow to colonies of about 10, as opposed to small brown bats who can have colonies of 10,000. That is great freakin’ news! Bring on the big browns! He said we’re lucky they’re outside and he’d just leave them, after all, they eat all our bugs. But here’s the thing Larry. I don’t want no guano!

Option two is bat houses, which sounds like a good plan. I don’t actually care if they poop over yonder on the other side of my property. I don’t even care if they poop on the grass, but my window sill? That’s over the top. So, we are moving ahead with plan two. We have to put up a bat house, remove the shutters off the house, power wash the yuckiness and bolt those shutters back on tight. Then we have to hope the bats like their new digs, and don’t try to find a way into the house to make us suffer for the disturbance. Should be an interesting way to spend the weekend.

I’ll keep you posted. Somehow I have a feeling the shenanigans may make a good blog post.


7 Responses to “Get your guano here…”

  1. Rhonda Says:

    Proud new owners of a new house then? Hopefully your bat tenants are more agreeable than ours! Good luck!

  2. Candy Says:

    good luck noelle, hopefully they don’t get into the house.

  3. Ruth Walker Says:

    Did I ever tell how much we enjoyed your maple syrup. It was really fabulous — light, sweet and tinged with Noelle-ness (which, if one really could bottle it, would be a rising crescendo of happiness bursting from the jar with violins and French horns playing…but I digress…)

    Syrup was yummy. And you are terrific. Thanks!

    • I’m so glad Ruth! Making that syrup was an amazing perk to our new surroundings. And I wish I could have a bottle that stuff too…rising crescendo of happiness bursting from the jar with violins and French horns playing – wow! You make me laugh, and keep me in complete awe of your eloquence. Always.

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