Today my seven-year old daughter came home from the Orillia fair scalped. And no, this isn’t an odd way to describe a new haircut or some weird new catch phrase. Her hair (actually her hair wrap – the cute pink and purple threading we paid $30 to have wound around a chunk of her tresses), got caught in the spinny ride and got ripped right out, leaving a penny-sized bald spot on the top of her pretty little blond head.
Here’s the reason I’m sharing this on my blog: I wish I could bottle her resilience. That girl may have her quirks. She likes to get her own way and doesn’t have much tolerance for girly games or baby talk. She has a hard time saying sorry. She doesn’t much like to share, and don’t expect to playfully poke her without getting poked back, only harder and less playful. She’s demanding, slightly odd, and sadly sometimes not as empathic or as cordial as I’d like. But, that girl has cajones.
She toughs things out. She didn’t shed a tear today, and when I asked her if it hurt a lot, she said, “Not really, it just felt like someone was ripping my skin off. Can I go on that ride again?” My heart broke a little, and I realized sometimes I’m too hard her. I expect too much. I expect her to deal with things, both the good and bad, the way I do.
We each have unique strengths to use as our armour. My whole life I’ve been a pleaser. I say yes when I mean no. I smile when I feel hurt, and I calm waters around me to avoid any storms. I’m polite and pleasant even when I’m pissed. That’s my cloak and always has been. I guess some might call it a pushover, others might say it lacks integrity to simply appease and please to avoid conflict. But I say – hey, it’s gotten me this far and I’ve survived whole.
My daughter is no pushover, no pleaser. She speaks her mind, states her demands and makes no excuses. She grits her teeth, pushes through the tough times and still wants to get back on the ride. A commendable cloak she wears. And who knows if in the end she’ll need more therapy than me or less. Either way, she’ll survive whole too.
Cajones…get yours today.