Boundbytheword Blog

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Do the crime, pay the time October 5, 2011

Everyone loves a quiet night to veg out, right? Last night I let Sugar in around midnight. She was late coming in, but I hadn’t heard the coyotes so I guess she was taking advantage of the night out. Everyone here was in long since in bed, and I convinced myself that I was going to make like Cinderella and be to bed by midnight. Sugar came running in as soon as I opened the door – I was tickled I didn’t have to go out and get chilled as I called for her. So, in she ran, and as I locked up she sat sort of hunched over in the corner. When I went over to her she sat pleased as punch with a plumb sparrow between her paws. In my house…my living room actually.

“Argh! Drop it!” I yelled. She didn’t drop it, or move. She stayed firmly in place as I squirmed and ran for a towel and my golden retriever Maalik came over to investigate. I poked Sugar a few times and she got up and circled around as I tried to shoo her from the dead bird.

Except it wasn’t dead.

It flew up and whipped around my living room. Sugar leapt over the couch and into the window sill, up on the bookcase trying to catch the escapee. Maalik stood  dumbfounded as I screeched and danced around the room. He watched the chaos between me and Sugar and the bird who had now hidden behind my husband’s suit that had been waiting for new buttons to be sewn on it all week.

I grabbed the cat – who moaned and complained about the injustice of her playtime coming to an end and put her behind a closed-door. I grabbed the towel and joined Maalik who stood guard at the suit. I opened the front door and readied my towel and slowly moved the sleeve of the jacket as the bird darted out and spun around my living room and landed on a chair. Readying the towel again, I took a few steps towards chair when the bird took flight and ended up back behind the suit. After two attempts and three screams (none of which woke ANY of my family members – good thing it was a bird not a bear!) I decided to wake my husband and pull the “you’re the man” card.

It took William three attempts (though no screams) to finally get the bird into the towel and outside where he released her. She flew off, high up into the giant Willow where she should have been all along.

By the time we got up to bed it was almost 1am. By the time I sunk my head into the pillow I was beat. My dog was beat. My husband was beat. But my cat had a tickle in her throat and spent the next 10 minutes trying to cough up what I can only assume were feathers. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say – GROSS.

I guess one might say she got what she deserved, but I’m not quite sure what I was being punished for yesterday. My biggest crime that night was that I cooked a mediocre dinner, put the kids to bed early and watched two back-to-back episodes of Hoarders instead of writing or working on grant proposals.

Just desserts for such a minor crime? I think not.


13 Responses to “Do the crime, pay the time”

  1. That is hysterical. I’ve never heard of a cat bringing in a bird at night. I’ve only experienced it during the day. Either way, it is very unpleasant. Glad you pulled “your the man” card. Funny post! Thanks for the laugh.

    • Today I went outside to walk my dog and there was a half-eaten bird on my front step. My cat is some sort of killing machine freak. It makes for a very sad way to start the day. 😦

  2. Norma Bickle Says:

    Noelle, remember the belly laughs I said I was needing ? Thanks, you just gave them to me HaHaHa

  3. sjclarke Says:

    LOL. That’s it. Just LOL.

  4. Lisa Llamrei Says:

    Consider yourself lucky. The only flying creatures I’ve ever had to chase around my house are bats.

    • I would take twenty birds over one bat – I hate them. They are like creepy little devils with wings. Except they do eat 5000 bugs a night – that’s nice. We lost our bats after we re-sided our house and kept the shutters off. This summer was much more buggy.

  5. John Says:

    So glad to have you back at your blog and thanks for the big laugh. Never a dull moment . . . which all things considered is a good thing. Happy Thanksgiving.

    • Hi John! Good to be back in action and glad to see your comment too. You are so right – never a dull moment. That’s what keeps us young at heart, right? Or at least to busy to notice age creeping in. I hope you get your fill of turkey and fall sunshine this weekend!

  6. Dale Long Says:

    Isn’t living in the country fun? I has its surprises and certainly keeps you on your toes. I’ve learned how to catch mice with my hands because apparently it is beneath the cat to actually kill them.

    Had a bat in the basement as well. An ermine in the wall, raccoons in the chimney. What a mess. Makes for great stories though. Ones you can embellish to keep your company in stitches. Not that I, ever in a millions years, would embellish an epic event like that. Nope, not me 😉

    I have to say at first I thought you were humanizing sugar. With the title and the first line “Last night I let Sugar in around midnight” I first read it to mean you snuck a late night snack of chocolate.

    • LOL! I like it – and last night I did let Sugar in (the sweet kind, not the furry one) around midnight. Paying for it today – headache and belly isn’t right. Curse sugar the sweet.

      PS – what the heck is an ermine???

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