I’ve been a walking disaster this week, but since I’ve rounded my accidents out to a plump three occurrences, I figure I’m done now. Three times is a charm, after all.
The ridiculousness began when I went to load up the wood stove. I threw in two logs, and then tried to cram one last one in when the knuckle of my thumb caught the inside wall. It pinched, but I actually heard the sizzle and smelt it burn before I felt actual pain. At first I thought maybe I just almost touched it because although it was red, it didn’t hurt that much. Lucky me, I thought. But, the pain caught up with me. By the time I got to the bathroom sink to run it under cold water it looked like a hotdog left too long on the grill. For a dime sized burn, it sure drew attention to itself . I spent the rest of the day with my hand singing with the sting of it.
But carry on you must, and so off I went to the dentist to have a filling replaced. I have no issue with the dentist – never have. Watch a little show while people polish and clean your teeth and make you all sparkly? It’s just never dawned on me to be afraid.
I was seeing a new dentist this visit. She was cheery, welcoming, and had small hands – which I have to admit – I was happy about since she was going to dig around in my mouth. She put lots of numbing gel on before she started with the needle, and when she put the needle in, I thought to myself – wow – I didn’t even feel that. She moved her hand a bit to give me a little more somewhere else and I thought – wow – this might just be the best needle I’ve ever been given, I don’t feel a thing. That’s when the burning began in my eye.
“Ah! That’s burning.” I said th best I oould with a mouthful of hands and needles.
“It’s okay, just breathe.” She said to me.
That’s when she poured the second and larger dose of acid in my eye (or so it feels like) and I yelled louder than I ever have in the dentist office, louder than I think I’ve ever yelled in public. “Burning! Burning! My eye!” My knees curled to my chest, and my hand flew towards my face. It’s in the “I’ll give you a backhand” position, which I’d like to think was me bringing a defensive hand to my face, but which I think the dentist and hygienist took for the backhander by the way they both rolled their chairs back a few inches. Hands and needle went flying and I’m curled up in the chair with them both looking down at me horrified. My eyelid is frozen. The rim of my eye is frozen. My eyeball is frozen.
I need to interject here that I have never even complained at the dentist before. I’ve always been pleasant and relaxed. If perhaps it was one of the dentists that had worked on me before, he would have known I was acting differently therefore clearly in distress. But because this was a new dentist to me (and the hygienist as well), they both were frozen in shock (and what might have been fear) as I freaked out in the chair. And I will admit, I was freaking out. I couldn’t stop feeling my face, I couldn’t stop saying “I can’t feel my eyeball!”
Here’s the thing – I wasn’t in pain, and I could see with no problem, but I have never had a frozen eye before and that combined with the fact that it started out with a searing pain that really did feel like liquid being poured in my eye – it didn’t matter that now it was painless – I was traumatized. So we spent the next few minutes with me freaking out and them watching me in horror, and assuring me that my eye was indeed moving around. When I got myself together, she apologized, explained she must have hit a nerve that ran up to my eye.
She completed the filling, and I went on my way after promising to keep my hands away from my eye so I didn’t damage it somehow. I guess she figured that after I acted like such a spaz in the chair, that I might go home and claw it out or something, I don’t really know. I do know that I felt like a nut job for losing my mind, and a freak show because the whole right side of my face – my eye, my cheek, my nose, and my lips, all drooped like it was melting. I was so glad I still had to go to the bank and the grocery store – I like to be humbled on occasion.
When I got home I felt pretty sorry for myself. Once the freezing wore off, the dull tingle was replaced with a raging migraine that lasted all night and the next day too. When I woke up yesterday, my cheek was swollen and bruised and I was migrainy and dizzy. My plan was to rest and relax all day. Then I dropped a big log on my big toe. While loading up that damn wood stove again, it tumbled out of my hands and landed right on the nail.
I did whine about my thumb burn and I did freak out with the whole burning/freezing eyeball thing, but I didn’t cry with either of those mishaps. The log to toe thing – I cried. I’m not ashamed to say I cried like a baby. Made such a stink that my dog woke up and nosed himself right at my face and try to stop the madness. But it hurt SO bad. It was instantly purple, and felt like the nail was going to pop right off because of the pressure. Wowza – that was not a pleasant feeling. Today my full toe nail is purple and I have a horrible feeling that I’m going to lose it and have one of those gross nail-less toes. I guess I can be happy it’s not sandal season.
Last night was a rough night. I can’t sleep on my right side because I can’t lay on that side of my face. I can’t sleep on my left side because it puts pressure on my toe and my thumb. So I slept on my back and moped. I know it’s only hump day, but I’m calling it a week. Three times has got to be a charm, right? Right?