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Momma Grumpy Pants March 6, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Noelle Bickle / Abby Brooks @ 10:37 AM
Tags: , , , , ,

If my life was a Disney movie, it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out which of the 7 dwarfs I was representing the last few days. Although I normally try to distribute my time pretty evenly between Dopey, Happy, Doc, Sleepy, Grumpy, and Sneezy (I don’t do Bashful), there are times where one of the little guys dominates my head. I am currently stuck on loop and even Snow White herself couldn’t keep me from being the grump in tights. The antics she uses to bring Grumpy around – a pat on the head, a little pinch of the cheek, a kiss on the forehead – any one of those things would assure Snow got a wallop that would set her flat on her pale-as-powder ass.

So, Grumpy it is. And today I’m trying hard to shake it, but I’ll admit, the monster factor was in fine form last night. I went postal on my son for not having his homework done. To ease any concerns about my son’s welfare –  I don’t yell, I don’t hit, I don’t starve him in the scary basement. Postal in our house = near death by nagging. In my defense though, this is homework that is due once a month. The kids have to use media (photos and news stories) to talk about a character trait. In case you’ve been out of public school a while and don’t have kids cycling though – character traits are something all the school boards use to teach kids how to be better people than parents are raising them to be at home.

Integrity             We act justly and honourably in all that we do

Responsibility    We are accountable for our actions and we follow through on our commitments

Cooperation       We work together towards shared goals and purposes

Caring                We show kindness towards others

Respect             We treat ourselves, others and the environment with consideration and dignity

Optimism           We maintain a positive attitude and have hope for the future

Honesty             We behave in a sincere, trustworthy and truthful manner

Empathy            We strive to understand and appreciate the feelings and actions of others

Courage             We do the right thing, even when it’s difficult

Inclusiveness     We include everyone in what we do and value their unique contributions 

So – basically, my son was failing miserably at the responsiblity trait – since he had a month to do this homework but only remembered ten minutes before bed the night before it was due. I was failing miserably at empathy, caring, and optimism as I nagged him half to death as he tried to cram 2 or 3 hours of homework into the thirty minute bedtime extension I gave him to get his ass in gear. I must say though – he did quite well at courage, handling my tyranny. That is until a big fat tear rolled down his cheek, because I wasn’t helping him and was making him feel bad. (his words).

Cue the horrific monster music. 

Okay – so I felt like a giant jerk who doesn’t help their kid and just makes them feel bad. It wasn’t a nice place to be. I was able to placate the beast in me long enough to make amends and tuck the kids into bed, but I wasn’t downstairs more than 15 minutes before my husband asked me to look at the wording of something for work. He asked quite nicely and I agreed, but the longer it took to get through it, the more the beast bubbled up again. After barking out a multitude of questions about the memo (and even saying the wording of one particular sentence was just stupid), I emailed the revised offending document back to him saying I felt crabbier than ever now. I think I was implying it was his fault, which normally would have evoked an immediate challenge to my accusation. But instead he just thanked me and kept his eyes averted. I think he wanted to be sure he didn’t turn to stone.

All I wanted to do was watch the informative and relevent television programme – the Bachelor – Women Tell All. Is that too much to ask? A little light entertainment? By the time I had drained my tea and finished wasting the two hours of my life that the programme ran, I decided all the girls on the show were officially stupid jerks and bullies. I hated them all. I hated Ben too, because he was being a spineless weenie. My therapist would probably say something about transference – but I was too grumpy to handle self-reflection or how those stupid bitches mirrored how much of a stupid bitch I was being. I just turned on Intervention instead.

My mother has always said if you get into a tussle with one person – they might be having a bad day. If you get into it with more than two people, make no mistake – it’s you. Advice I’ve used for many years to determine if I have settled into my grumpy-pants and need to look at a wardrobe change. Or at the very least, recognize it’s not a good look.

New day, but I’m not wearing new pants. Not yet anyway. I’m trying. Sort of. It might just be another day to stay huddled in the dressing room.


18 Responses to “Momma Grumpy Pants”

  1. Cryssa Bazos Says:

    Maybe I shouldn’t leave a comment, in case I make you grumpier. LOL. There must be something in the air. I’m feeling a little punchy too.

    • Punchy, like bop you in the nose punchy? Or punchy, like can’t sit still, giddy-silly-goofy punchy? Are you Grumpy or Dopey today? Without any doubt, I’m the bop you in the nose punchy.

      I’m normally so nice. Hmph.

  2. Nothing a dozen Cadbury’s cream eggs wouldn’t solve!

  3. Lisa Llamrei Says:

    Been there. Kids who wait until the last minute before remembering homework assignments make me go postal too. Especially when I have to drop everything because it’s suddenly my responsibility to make sure it gets done the way it’s supposed to. So, I guess I’m not very helpful. We’re just two tyrannical grumps.

    • He went off today without it, and is just finishing it up now to hand in late. There is no way 3 hours of homework can be accomplished in 30 minutes – no matter how type A you are. And he isn’t type A, not at all. If there was such a thing, he’d be type Z!

  4. dd Says:

    While I won’t profess to ever wearing attire that could be described as Grumpy Pants, I remember too many times while my two wonderful children were growing into adulthood (or perhaps still growing) when my Crabby Mommy persona was constantly residing inside my head and my house. Somehow, when my alternate persona moved out, guilt regularly took it’s place because my gosh, how could I love my kids yet be so intolerant of the parts of their personalities that I found so “like me ish”. Do I put off till tomorrow something I could so easily do now – well yes – but I don’t want my kids to be like me! Ha Ha Ha – the joke’s on them though cause when they have their own bundles of joy whom they are trying to help develop those character traits that the school boards are supposed to help them develop but don’t, I’ll be sitting back and enjoying the irony of my children doning their Grumpy Pants.

    So Noelle, don’t stay in the closet! Wear those pants proudly – go forth and make sure there is elastic in the waist band!

  5. DivineLunacy Says:

    I’ve got news for you – even the best kids, and the best parenting tactics don’t work when it comes to getting kids organized and buckled down to homework and planning. My son sends me texts in the middle of the night from University. “Mom I just e-mailed you an essay to proof” “When’s it due?” “Tomorrow at noon” You think you feel bad! The last time he did this, I told him to go to hell. Then I couldn’t fall back to sleep for crying, so I got up, made a tea, and proof read a 5000 word essay and sent it back to him at 7 am.
    Your trait comparison to the dwarfs made me laugh and reminded me of one of my favourite jokes.
    All 7 dwarfs were in the bathtub feeling happy, when happy got out, they all felt grumpy!

    • Love the joke – I might use it when I am excusing my crabbiness!

      I feel for you – I do remember my oldest daughter doing the same thing in university – but never with a 24 hour (let alone a 12 hour!) turnaround. Mother’s guilt made you do it though, didn’t it? Ahhhh – kids!

  6. Dave Jones Says:

    Wow! You grumpy? Whoda thought? Lemme just say that it’s full moon time and everyone’s a little wacko. Well, not me, but…

    Dr. Dave says: Take a nice warm bath, have a glass of wine and eat some chocolate. Repeat if neccessary.

  7. Dale Long Says:

    I knew I liked Will for a reason, he’s a smart, smart man!

    C’mon, Grumpy pants aren’t always a bad thing, sometimes they can be fun. And I don’t subscribe to the whole notion that if you piss two people off then the problem is you. The problem is you ran into two people who were WRONG. 😉

    What you need is sunshine, kiddo! That and goofs like me hanging around.

    Been there. My girls have on numerous occasions pulled the “oh, I have a project due.” After several previous grumpy pants incidents, I now just tell them, “Oh well, guess you’re getting Zero because your teacher didn’t give me homework…”

    It doesn’t happen much anymore.

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