Everyone needs something in life to be passionate about. And I don’t mean shopping, chocolate. your work or your kids. I mean something that stirs the spirit and is for you and only you. Something that marks your place in the world, gives you the feeling that you finally fit.
A neighbour told me she was embarrassed to say she didn’t have a passion, that she was almost 50 and hadn’t found one yet. But we all have something that moves us more than anything else, even if we haven’t recognized it as our passion yet. You can’t look to others to help you find it either. I can’t understand my husband’s love of flying and he can’t understand my love of writing. We may admire it and encourage it – but I have no desire to fly anywhere unless it lands me on a beach, and he doesn’t much like to read let alone write.
For many years, my husband Will dreamt about owning his own airplane. Sure you can rent one and fly around, but that hobby makes a season of golf look like cheap entertainment. He worked on me seriously for about 5 years to buy his own plane, which I thought was crazy – who buys a plane? Let me rephrase that – who in our tax bracket buys a plane? But after many years of trying to work out a plan, Will bought a plane this spring with six other men. Nothing fancy, a Cessna. I think it’s a ’86, which isn’t that old in terms of planes I guess, and it’s the same age as my oldest daughter and she’s holding up great. And after all the arguments about the logistics and financial aspects, after the years of him wanting and me not understanding, he has his plane and I finally get it – he now gets to feed his passion.
Yesterday he went for a flight after work and flew over the house, did a couple of roundabouts while the kids and I ran out and did cartwheels on the front lawn in order to say hello to him flying overhead. He was thrilled and our level of contribution consisted of nothing more than a little gymnastics and an exuberant wave from the ground.
My point is, Will has something just for him now. His happiness with flying doesn’t depend on me or anyone else. He can rely on his passion to bring him happiness, peace, comfort, satisfaction. All the same things that writing does for me. And I can’t imagine not being able to write. If we’ve done things right, our children will leave us to make healthy happy families of their own. We can’t depend on them to make us happy (just ask anyone with a teenager). It isn’t fair to put the burden of “complete me” onto a spouse either, because at the end of the day we need to know if all else fails there’s something that will sustain our inner selves. Bring us back from the damaged places, shed some light on the dark parts, and bring us joy when all else fails. Our very own piece of heaven, our passion.
The thing you need to remember about passion is it’s completely different from commercial success. What seems to hold people back is this notion that you have to do something and get somewhere with its success. But that isn’t true. It’s enough to love basketball, play basketball, read about basketball, watch basketball – you don’t have to be a NBA player in order for the game to be your passion. In order for it to be what fills you.
If you haven’t found your passion yet, don’t despair. It’s easier than you think to find it. Just answer the rest of this sentence: I’ve always wanted to… or I wish I could…
The answer is right there in you. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try but were afraid to go out on that limb. Just go for it. On the very top of the highest branch is where you’ll find it. Don’t be afraid to reach.
Boundbytheword Blog 
What a wonderful post, so beautifully put! I have a few clients I’m going to share this with. I love the picture – the plane looks like an eagle.
It does look like an eagle…and thank you for sharing! I had to trim the photo becuase Sam was in his underwear, no pants…lol.
So timely. So well said. (Coincidentally, one of my husbands passions is basketball..!) But what to do when you have so many interests it’s hard to decide which is your passion, and which one to focus on? If you have more than one passion are you fortunate, or destined to be a “Jack/Jill of all trades, master of none”?
That’s a tough one. I think if you actually have more than one passion, more than one thing that actually stirs you and makes you a better person, than you are lucky indeed!
The regret for never having ‘reached’ hurts far worse than having ‘reached’ and failed.
I’m a little jealous of Will. As a kid I always wanted to fly a Spitfire or a Corsair. BUT I hate heights. Maybe this will give you fodder for writing. Go for a spin with him and see what your muse drums up. Just remember, the plane is to small for any mile high antics 😉
Great post. Love the cartwheeled enhusiasm. Nothing makes a passion for something better than being supported and encouraged.
Ha ha…since he’s the one flying the plane, we need not worry about mile high antics! I do enjoy actually living rather than plunging to my death!
Hard not to support our spouses when you look at what ours have done for us, right?
Beautiful post Noelle! It is amazing to be with your spouse for so long and still wonder what they are passionate about. I know that Jamie loves music, singing and drumming but I didn’t realize how many ways it also distracts, destresses and soothes him until he joined this band. It’s such a beautiful thing to see. I may not feel the same way about his passion but I see the good it does for him. I support him in it in every way. He struggles to understand the things I’m passionate about because our passions are so different from each other. Mine is to help other people. I love helping at the school, helping a friend, neighbour or co-worker. The part he really doesn’t get is that I feel best when I help someone without their knowledge. I don’t do things for people to feel they owe me, I do them because it really makes me feel wonderful and proud of myself. Don’t get me wrong, a little gratitude goes a long way but it’s not the part that feeds my soul. I may not be doing a lot for the world in general but I’m helping my community in my own little way. Now I just need to remember that it is not his passion and I shouldn’t “volun-tell” him or my kids to help me so much but secretly that is a passion of mine too! Getting them involved so that they will learn compassion and hopefully want to help other people. What’s that saying “Pay-it-Forward”.
Pay it forward works for me. I love that sentiment.
You are a kindheart Erica, and after being on the end off your “giving stick” many times, I can say I love that you have that as your passiion…lol! That works for me too! xo
Thanks Noelle! You have no idea how much I miss having you guys up the street! I’m so glad you decided to write because I feel like I get to keep up with you by following your blog than I would normally have had the opportunity. Therefore your passion works for me too! 🙂 xo
I miss being up the street too! I don’t miss crazy Debbie, or the maniac kids on the street, or those who party in their garage…but I do miss my favourite neighbours and good friends. Summer’s coming – we’ll reconnect. 🙂
Damn you, Noelle.
How can I stay mad at my husband for following his passion now?
Hee hee. Sorry Sandra. If it makes you feel better, I held out on my husband for many, many years. (on buying a plane that is, not holding out on other stuff for many years…lol). I can tell you this – if I knew how much easier him having a passion was going to make my life, I would have done it years ago. Trust me, it will make everything you want to do guilt-free.
You made me tear up this morning. Great post.
You and I have had many a talk about this very thing, haven’t we? But then, who am I kidding? We’ve had many a talk about everything under the sun…lol. No stone left unturned.
Noelle, this is a fantatic post! I love what you say about the importance of passion for EVERYBODY.
Hi Sue. Passion really is the best medicine. More than just wanting it, we all really need it to thrive. Thanks for helping me hone mine. xo
Oh my gosh. I split a gut over the plane being the same age as your eldest daughter and that she’s holding up great lol. Sooo funny.
He tells me 25 years on a plane is nothing, but the only way I can measure 25 years is by looking at Heather….I don’t know, should I be worried? lol!
Great post, Noelle. I’m a little jealous of William – I’ve always wanted to fly a plane, too.
He’s always looking for company, so be careful what you wish for, or you may find yourself a new best friend!
Love your post Noelle!!! Yeah Will!!! Fly over my house soon, I promise cartwheels and one big trampoline jump just for you buddy!!! LOL!!!
Sometimes, when you are really, really lucky, your passion will provide you with the amazing added benefit of truly incredible friendships!!! (cheeky grin!!!)
You know it baby…lucky that we’re really lucky! xo
Hi, Noelle,
What an incredible theme. I remember the day I decided to write a novel. The impulse had been buried from years of trying to make a living, raise children, escalate in a career. I was burnt out and felt that I had lost a vital piece of myself. I looked to my well stocked bookcase, many lovely stories clammoring for my attention. All I could think of was that I wanted to write my own.
Everyone, at one stage of their lives, feels the need to express themselves– creatively, emotionally and physically.
Kudos to your husband for seizing his dream and making that airplane a reality. But also Kudos to you for encouraging him in his dream!
I can’t believe what a difference reaching for it has made for both my husband and myself. I spent too many years just wanting to, and not doing it. So glad the last five years have been spent cultivating my dream. So glad you saw that bookcase of lovely stories and decide to write instead of just read!
Hi Noelle, I loved the post, and the photo was awesome. It was great on it’s own, but the story behind it tugged my heart strings.
Thank you. Just in time for some Father’s day lurv, right?